Yes.... it is true... even tho I am a very positive person, sometimes I can't see the road to success. Most of my worries are school related. Honestly, I am not 100 % that I can do anything with my Associate Degree upon graduation from Richland College. Actually, I would be able to find a good job if I would be a citizen, but as an international student there is very little hope that a company would sponsor me. If you are an engineer that is an other story, but as an event/meeting planner I wouldn't have that much opportunity here. My classmates who were graduated from this program easily found a job and started to work/get experiences. They don't even think about earning a Bachelor Degree. It would be necessary for me if I want to stay here through employment.
When it comes to school I always get so sensitive, because I feel it is so not far to us, International Students to have all these rules. We have to be enrolled full time to maintain our visa status, we pay triple of the tuition fee, PLUS they don't let us to work. Seriously? How is it fair to us?
Here I am, who really wants to study. One of my dreams to earn a Bachelor Degree in America and I don't know yet how can I do it. I have lot's of will to study but I am not sure if I can afford financially to attend a University; at least not in America. I keep thinking of this continuously and it always makes me upset. I don't want to let it bring me down, but I need to think about it, look for solutions and figure out what my options are, what I can do to achieve this goal.
I know tuition isn't cheap in Europe either, but I could find cheaper ones for sure. And the BIG difference is that I could work legally there while attending school but this stupid law doesn't let us to work here. I don't understand why they can't give us work permit, especially when you are a student who needs to give out a lot's of money. Just to have an idea how much University would cost here: The cheapest one in Dallas area (which is an hour away from Dallas or even more) is $ 10 000 dollar a semester, which means $ 20 000 dollar an academic year. (No Summer). Plus around $ 3 000 for books. And you also need to sleep somewhere, eat something plus car maintenance, gas, insurance, phone bill and so on. Don't forget this is the cheapest one. Where I would love to go would cost $ 30 000 a year but there are other cool Universities up to $ 40 000 a year just for tuition for international students. I don't understand what a heck they are thinking????
My family can't support me financially, and you know I don't even expect it. Sometimes I send home little presents. A Hungarian friend just went home and I sent something again, but I would love to send more, I would love to support them. Time to time I think about how I would be if my family would pay my tuition.... Would I be the same person am I now? Would I be as determined as now? You know my parents don't even have a car. They literally use horse and carriage as a public transportation in Transylvania. I don't say the life in America is better, but people here definitely have more opportunities than back home. I just so want a better life with great opportunities for my children. No one attended University from my family and I want to break that chain. I feel I am the ONE who can change the life of the next generation of my family. I remember how hard was for my family to pay high school/boarding school for me. Many times my mom gave the last money they had to me to go back to the boarding school Sunday afternoon. Many times just a couple of dollars were at home just to buy bread/necessary food or pay the bills. It was a holiday or special events if we had coke or sweets from the store. I could count on one hand how many times we could afford to eat out a year. My mom use to bake from ingredients we had at home as a treat; like apple pies. I am not making it up. That is the true. Now I recall all those memories and I just feel so much love for my parents for giving to us everything they had.
And yes, I work, but i work my ass of for a little money as a nanny, dog sitter, housekeeper, cleaner.... Plus, not to mention it is all illegal, I work illegally because I want to get education in America. Many times I think that it may not be the best idea that I write here in my blog about my nanny jobs because there is a possibility to get deported from America. But you know what? I don't care.... If they would give me work permit I would pay taxes so it would be a win-win situation. I know many Americans judge illegal workers, but we just try to have a life or a better life or we want to learn English, get education. I don't see anything bad in that.
Honestly i was crying while writing this post because it makes me so so mad.... But now it is time to take a deep breath, calm down, go to gym, get some positive energy, have a good sleep, and continue "dancing in the rain".