2015. augusztus 20., csütörtök

Hopes

I know i always promise i will post more frequently but somehow something always came up to not be able to do it......

Since my last post... I went to Toronto with the guys for Laith's wedding. We had ton's of fun. It was a different experience because i was traveling with three guys. I have never done this before, but I loved it. Guys are so easy-going. :) I will not post and write that much now, i just wanted to do a little update. 


























































We spent the month June-July with apartment finding mission. Finally we found a really nice one, wasn't the cheapest but our standard was a bit higher too. We didn't want to move in to a crappy place. If you want to have a look at the apartment, here is the link....


We got a three bedroom one with two bathroom. My roommates are Viki and Sara, two of my really good friends.  The move in date was August 15, however I couldn't move in yet, because I had to leave America for a while.

On July 18 (Saturday) I was driving home from Laith's place with Eymard when I had a car accident. Fortunately nobody got injured but I cracked my car kind a bad. I remember I was just sitting on the street and couldn't stop crying for a while.... After seeing my car I told to Eymard from the money I need to pay for the repair I could go home and spend some time with my family. I wanted to go home two weeks ago when my dad had his 60th years old party. All the family, relatives where there..... Eymard helped me to calm down, and I knew that the most important is that we all are alright, without any injury. Somehow I fall asleep, but of course I was upset....

...In the morning when i opened my eyes i checked my phone and I saw I got ton's of messages from my family..... Bad news..... My father got paralyzed and doctors were fighting for his life. The horror story started for me.... I climbed out from the bed somehow, sat on the floor if the the middle of the room, was shaking while i was trying to call my sister. I was crying so bad that couldn't even talk. Eymard woke up for all these noise and couldn't imagine what happened with me. I was totally out of my mind. I just couldn't stop crying.  On that Saturday night when I had the accident, he was sitting on a small bench with some neighbors and somehow he fall off and hit his neck. He injured his third spinal, more accurately his spinal marrow got injured. So on that Sunday morning Eymard took me home to change and went together to the same church we use to go. After the mass we bought a flight ticket home for the same day. I went home, throw some clothes to my bag and headed to the airport. My family kinda said that let's wait for a few days, let's wait for the surgery... but i just couldn't stay there.... i felt I have to come home......I couldn't just wait and take the risk to not be able to ever see my father alive again..... Doctors said he may not be able to talk or breath after the surgery.... When the surgery was I was waiting at the London Heathrow airport for connection. I was praying for hours to be able to talk to him again.....

Monday at midnight I got to Budapest. My sister and my nephew picked me up from the airport and we headed to Romania. The surgery was in a bigger Romanian city, Cluj Napoca. Luckily we have some relatives living there so we got some help with accommodation and they translated to us since our Romanian knowledge is very poor. 

The surgery went well, my father could talk and breath after that. However to see my father over there it was terrible. They didn't let us to see him for more than 30 minutes a day. I saw him suffering and i so wanted to help him....but I couldn't. Those days were so bad, everybody was crying a lot.


After a day traveling i was so exhausted that i went to sleep on the ground in the backyards of the hospital.... I know, I know it looks terrible but Romania is not the United States. The system in the hospitals are horrible....   We had to wait at least 3 hours, sometimes more until we could catch the doctor to ask things about my father condition. Literally we had to stand in front of a door for who knows how long.... we just hoped once the doctor will come out from that door and you can go and talk to him... Not to mention that most nurses in this hospital are so heartless. One day one of the nurse came to my mom, called her outside of the building and told her that she shaved my father's hair in a line to be able to make the surgery at his neck and we have to pay her the cost of the razor.  Of course you had to pay ten times more than the razor would cost. But that is not all. The other day a different nurse came to my mom doing and saying exactly the same. At that time we didn't even know if my father will stay alive and these nurses were coming for money. Who doesn't live in Romania doesn't know what is going on in the hospitals.... I know it is not good but couldn't imagine this. I was shocked. There are some exceptions of course and fortunately we could experience that too....  But most of the people who work there shouldn't.....  You have to put money in everybody's pocket if you want to ask something from them. For instance in Cluj Napoca my mom had to pay at first to a nurse than she went and told to the doctor that the patient's family want to talk to him.... But if you don't pay they don't really help. I assume the doctors don't know about this......

After a week we could transfer my father to an other hospital close to my village. We knew that transferring him can be dangerous. We were worried a lot. The hospital called us when they put my father to the hospital and the ambulance was about to leave. We left right away too. While driving, suddenly an ambulance appeared, it belong to that hospital.


We knew this is the ambulance which transfers my father. The ambulance was following us slowly without using sirens and flash lights so we kind a calm down that everything is alright until the ambulance stopped at a gas station parking lot. Because of the traffic we couldnt stop, we were driving towards to other hospital. It is around 4 hours driving.  We got so stressed, since my sister works in this industry and know a lot about illnesses she started to think about most likely my father couldnt breath, he needs help and that is why the ambulance had to stop. 20 minutes left and the ambulance still didn't catch up with us. We were more nervous. There is no other road or other way how to get to the other hospital at that point. Another 10 minutes left when the ambulance reached us but at this time it went very fast with all the lights and sirens. I can't even describe that moment when we had to pull over to let the ambulance go with my father. We all were crying so bed. That four hours  was  the most terrible drive/ride in my entire life. 

When we got to the hospital we figured out that my father is doing okay, the ambulance stopped to put gas but the gas station's electricity went out and they had to wait for 30 minutes. 

It has been 5 weeks already that he is in the hospital and i went every day there and stayed with him for 6 hours. I started to hate hospitals..... He got a very serious urine infection on top of everything.... The doctors didn't gave us any chance.... One day I felt we will be able to take him home and the other day I felt that we can't save him. My feeling are like a rollercoster; up and down. I became so inpatient and nervous. I was living every day with anxiety. I am living every day in fear, and I know it is horrible. 

In a week I need to fly back to Dallas. It is hard to leave everything behind but at the same time i need to get back to routine and try to recover emotionally. It is so much pain now. I don't like the person I became in the last five weeks.... I need to work on myself towards being a positive girl with many new dreams, goals.....


This pictures was taken 2 weeks before the accident.... I wish he could sit on that stair again.... Well, life is so unpredictable... That is why we need to live every day if it would be the last..... You never know what is your destiny.

I live at the end of the village. The other day were a very beautiful double rainbow.




Madarasi Hargita - I live under this mountain!